Little Parachutes

Picture books that help children

< Picture Books Library
We Love This Book Award
Categories: Death & Bereavement, Non-traditional Families, Sadness

What Happened to Daddy’s Body?

This is a frank and lovingly written book, explaining clearly what happens to someone’s body when they die. It provides young children with a means to understand what happens after death, whilst reassuring them with the message that life goes on for those left behind.

Add to your book list
What Happened to Daddy's Body?
Author: Elke and Alex Barber
Illustrator: Anna Jarvis
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
Age: 3+

This is a story told by Alex, whose daddy died suddenly when he was three. Alex often thinks about Daddy, and sometimes he asks questions, which his Mummy always tries to answer honestly.

Alex asks Mummy what happened to Daddy’s body after he died. Mummy asks Alex to remember Daddy’s funeral at the crematorium, and explains how a coffin and a dead body are burned after the ceremony.

Mummy tells Alex that after the cremation, just ashes are left. She also mentions that some people are buried rather than cremated. The family take a walk to the woods, where Mummy uses the surroundings to explain how buried bodies break down in time and slowly feed the plants and trees.

Alex has a sad moment at his fifth birthday party, thinking about Daddy not being there, but he looks around at all his friends and family – including Mummy’s new boyfriend, John and his children. John is not Alex’s daddy, he says. But he likes him a lot.

One day, Mummy explains to Alex that she is going to a special place to scatter Daddy’s ashes, and by doing this they can help plants and trees to grow. Alex becomes upset. Mummy cuddles him, and explains that they will still talk about Daddy every day. They will always love him.

Alex misses his Daddy every day, but with Mummy, Olivia and all of John’s children, he has a lot of fun. Mummy tells him it’s okay to be sad. But it’s okay to be happy, too. And, says Alex, they are.

This beautifully produced book bravely tackles the questions that a very young child will undoubtedly have when a loved one dies. The text is cleverly thought out, and the exquisite illustrations match the message on each page perfectly, resulting in a book that is full of facts, but also full of love. “What Happened to Daddy’s Body?” is the perfect follow-up to Alex and Elke’s first book, “Is Daddy Coming Back in a Minute?”. It deals with the hardest of situations in a unique, honest and heartfelt way that will resonate with children like Alex who are going through a bereavement.

The messages we found in this book:

Acknowledgement:

  • It’s completely normal to feel really sad when someone you love dies.
  • It is natural to really miss that loved one. It can be particularly hard at certain times, when you wish they could be there
  • Sometimes you will feel happy too, and that’s perfectly okay.

 

Information:

  • When someone dies their body doesn’t work anymore, can’t move, and can’t feel anything
  • A dead body still looks like a whole person (Alex is confused by the term ‘body’ and wonders where the head, arms and legs go)
  • When someone is cremated, their body (inside a coffin) is burned in a very hot machine (there is an illustration of two men wearing gloves and safety goggles placing the coffin into the machine).
  • In a burial, the loved one is lowered into a hole in the ground called a grave, then covered with soil (the illustrations show some sketches in a notebook of a burial)
  • Bodies (after a long time) start to break down and eventually turn to soil. The soil helps feed plants and trees (there is a beautiful illustration showing the children playing with leaves in the woods, while Mummy shows them how the leaves go soft and crumbly and turn into soil).

Guidance:

  • An important message conveyed in this book is that it’s okay to be sad, but it’s okay to be happy too.
  • Spreading someone’s ashes doesn’t mean that you will stop thinking about them.
  • When you lose someone you love, you continue to love them forever. You don’t need to worry about them being replaced by someone else, because they won’t.
  • Mummy lets the children keep a little bit of the ashes in small bottles, which makes them feel much better. They also plant a tree with some of the ashes, which they can take with them if they ever move house, to act as something to remember Daddy with. They are comforted by the idea that the ashes help the tree to grow.

Inspiration:

Alex shows great courage and resilience, and adapts to life without his Daddy with the loving support of his family.

Hope:

  • Life goes on for Alex, and he’s happy with his new blended family. They have a lot of fun together and their love for him provides comfort.
  • Alex feels reassured that his Daddy will never be forgotten or replaced, and it’s OK to miss him.
Worth noting:

This is a factual and blunt explanation of what happens after someone dies. It explains the processes of cremation and burial in clear language, and makes something that is often taboo very straightforward. It would be a useful and honest guide for any young child who is curious about death.

Things to talk about and do:

Can you think of some special ways to remember a loved one? A child may want to look at photographs or home movies, or draw a picture of their memories.

Review by: Rebecca Seymour

Other books to explore:

Share
Share

By continuing to use the site, you agree to the use of cookies. more information

The cookie settings on this website are set to "allow cookies" to give you the best browsing experience possible. If you continue to use this website without changing your cookie settings or you click "Accept" below then you are consenting to this.

Close