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< Picture Books Library
Categories: Adoption & Fostering, Aggression & Tantrums, Confidence & Self-esteem, Resilience / adaptability

Rosie Rudey and the very Annoying Parent

Children who have had a difficult start in life, who are finding it hard to adapt to life within a new family, may benefit from this book. Children in other situations who are struggling with emotional and behavioural issues may identify with Rosie in the book, and, with the guidance of a parent or other trusted adult, may be able to take the first steps to improving their situation.
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Rosie Rudey and the very Annoying Parent

Author: Sarah Naish and Rosie Jefferies
Illustrator: Amy Farrell
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers

The story of Rosie has been written in simple language that young children will understand. It is a literal tale of a child struggling with emotional and behavioural issues as she adapts to living with a new family. However,  there is one notable symbolic device: Rosie has developed a hard tortoise shell around her body so ‘no one can give her cuddles or make her feel sad anymore’. Her difficult past has resulted in her anxiety and distrust of people, which manifests itself as anger, grumpiness and rudeness (the illustrations show Rosie stomping her feet loudly up the stairs, and glaring rudely at other people). 

Her mum empathises with her, identifying how difficult it must be to be cross all the time. She avoids telling Rosie what to do directly or reprimanding her for her negative behaviour.  Instead she describes her feelings and gives her space and time to resolve them herself. When Rosie announces she is so fed up with her family telling her what to do that she is going to run away, her mum doesn’t try to stop her (although she watches her and makes sure she is safe). Instead, she calmly points out that she thinks it is a bit sad, especially as it is raining. As Rosie packs to run away, her mum offers her a warm jumper and a coat (which she refuses). Rosie makes it as far as the front door step, and soon feels tired, cold and hungry. How dare her family have their tea without her! She ‘overhears’ mum very deliberately telling the others how difficult it must be for Rosie, feeling cross all the time. Very slowly, Rosie ‘peeps her head out of the tortoise shell’ and returns to the family meal, surprised that no-one seems particularly cross. Again, Mum is not judgmental and doesn’t show her own anxiety about the situation. Rosie has reached a turning point and slowly but surely, her shell begins to feel thinner.

Although undoubtedly beneficial as a therapeutic book, the story is a little dry and the unrefined illustrations don’t convey much emotion.

The messages we found in this book:

Acknowledgement:

  • Children who have a difficult start in life can it find it really hard to trust people, even those that love them. They can develop a ‘hard shell’ in an attempt to protect themselves from further pain, deliberately alienating themselves.
  • It is normal to feel grumpy some of the time. 

Guidance:

  • It is important to give a child struggling with emotions space and time to resolve these for themselves, rather than coercing them into behaving in a certain way, or reprimanding them for their bad behaviour.
  • A child that is angry, grumpy or rude should not be dismissed as ‘just being naughty’: negative behaviour can be a symptom of something really troubling a child, such as a painful memory. 
  • It is possible to control anger, and with help a child can learn to trust and accept kindness again.

Hope & Inspiration:

  • At the end of the story, Rosie’s tortoise shell gets much thinner and she feels happier, but her mum knows that there will still be challenging moments ahead. The final illustration shows a very faint shell on Rosie’s back, suggesting that it will never disappear completely.
  • The mother shows empathy and restraint. It would be easy for her to get angry herself in a stressful situation like this, but she keeps calm and gives her daughter the space, support and trust she needs. 
  • Rosie is learning to accept help and trust people again, which shows great courage and resilience.
Worth noting:

This is as much a guidance manual for parents and carers as a story book for a child, both uses being equally beneficial. Written by Sarah Naish, a former social worker and parent to five adopted children, Rosie Rudey is based on her daughter (Rosie, now an adult, co-wrote the book, ensuring it reflected her feelings at the time as accurately as possible). The notes explain some techniques that can be tried within a family: giving space, using calm touch and using empathy and nurture.

Review by: Claire Ward-Dutton

Categories: Adoption & Fostering, Aggression & Tantrums, Confidence & Self-esteem, Resilience / adaptability
Tags: anger, change, grumpiness, rudeness, stubbornness, transition



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What is a Parachute Book?

A challenging experience can make a young child feel as if they are in emotional free fall. As a parent, you can’t stop them falling, but you can offer them a softer landing:
a Parachute Book.

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